|THE ECW REPORT|
Contributed by: homieking
The ECW Report 07/22/08
Sorry this is late but when you have a three year, a one year old and a pregnant wife and the one year old doesn't want to go to bed you sometimes forget about ECW. If it wasn't for this report I would probably forget about ECW a lot more often.
Because of my tardiness I'm going to start of this report with my thoughts on the current state of ECW. I want to first be honest with the exception of Collin Delaney its not like I care about anyone on the roster. Letâ€™s take a look in more detail shall we.
Mark Henry: Vince McMahonâ€™s last major purchase during the Monday night wars and what a waste of money he is. He is 400lbs of the worldâ€™s strongest retard.
John Morrison: I know I'm suppose to like Morrison because he has a good look and he is athletic but every time I look at him it just screams Douche bag.
The Miz: I didn't like this guy 10 years ago when the Real World was still cool. Why would I like him now?
Fit Finley: He is suppose to be Irish and he loves to fight but he really looks like a giant Hornswaggle. If I want to see some Irish fight I'll watch Boondocks Saints.
Matt Hardy: I'm probably going to get yelled at by most of my friends but if I wanted to watch a Hardy it would be the other one.
Evan Bourne: Heâ€™s cute???? Lets face it he will never go anywhere with his size or style of wrestling in the WWE and if he was in TNA he would just be lost in the X division shuffle.
Chris Harris: I liked him with he was one half of AMW and even a little bit after their last break but I don't like him currently... nor do I like his name. Hence why I'm not telling you what it is.
Mike Knox: I'm not sure why they keep repackaging this guy.
I know they have a few more people but I think you get my point. Part of what makes a good wrestling program is having good wrestlers and there really isn't anyone on the ECW roster that I care about.
Anyways on with Tuesday nights ECW report.
ECW comes to you this week from Philadelphia and we find out that the main event is a fatal four way between The Miz, Matt Hardy, John Morrison, and Fit Finley to find out the new number one contender for the ECW championship. I got $10 on Hardy because lets face it its not like they are going to have a douche bag heel face a douche bag heel and what a PPV match Henry and Finley would make.
Teddy long is in the ring with a shinny new ECW title belt. If they fired Tommy Dream now I'm pretty sure whatever was left of ECW would officially be dead. I guess in ECW they like white gold?
Out comes Mark Henry and Tony Atlas to accept the new belt. I wonder if the belt will fit him. It doesn't look like they added a seatbelt extension so I don't think it will.
Atlas is happy to accept the new ECW title in the home of ECW but it doesn't should like the crowd is happy to give it to him. Atlas says itâ€™s a new ECW and tells everyone to look at the new championship. I don't think I have ever seen a title belt so shinny and silver. I don't think I like it. Atlas says that anyone that whatâ€™s to hold on to the old ECW they are going to get squashed and swepted under the ring like Tommy Dreamer. Out comes Collin Delaney who apparently turned his back on Tommy Dreamer on Sunday.
Delaney gives the old fashion Why Collin? Why Collin? Promo. Says that he was a laughing stock with Dreamer and that when he looked in the ring and saw Atlas and Henry he saw greatness and when he saw Dreamer he saw a loser. Blah Blah Blah Blah..... OK I take back what I said about Collin being the only one in ECW that I really liked.
Teddy Long sets up a match between Collin and Dreamer.
Out comes Dream..... oh oohhhhhh he looks mad. Collin looks scared. This could be funny. HaHa.... Atlas and Henry tell him that he will be ok and leave the ring.
Tommy Dreamer v. Collin Delaney Delaney tries to escape the ring but Dreams just starts beating the tar out of him. Finally Collin escapes and gets some offense in on Dreamer. Doest last long before Dreamer takes back over and gives him some nice clotheslines. On no Tree of Wooooo.... SMACK.... Pump handle reverse suplex??? That was kind of neat. Collin is begging of and Dreamer tells him its ok.... WITH A DDT....
Winner: Tommy Dreamer
Miz and Morrison said that Sunday was black Sunday and that itâ€™s not cool because they weren't even pined. Miz and Morrison talk each other up about how cool they are and wish each other luck. I'm pretty sure these too love each other.
Recap of the Great American Bash
Chavo and Bam are ringside.
Evan Bourne v Jobber James Curtis They reshow Evan's win over Chavo. I will say that guy has one pretty pretty shooting star press. He gets some air. The two of them work some basic exchanges. Curtis takes over but heâ€™s just to slow to keep up with Bourne. Curtis isn't bad. If they hadn't got rid of Murdock they probably could of stuck the two of them together and revamped cowboy tag gimmick. Sorry hit the fast forward, Evan didn't do anything that I haven't already seen him do and the match was going to long for a guy there trying to push v. a jobber. After the match Chavo and Bam come into the ring but Bourne is to quick and gets away.
Winner: Evan Bourne
Finley and Hornswaggle are back stage talking about tonightâ€™s 4 way. Finley says who needs luck when you have a shalaley. Thatâ€™s funny.
The curly head guy and some blond girl are in the back talking. Teddy long comes in the back and ohhh his name is Ricky Ortiz. Ortiz is talking about his ideas for logos and t-shirts and stuff. Teddy says before they make him an action figure with a kung fu grip to simmer down and maybe he can win his next match first.
Oh goodie we get a Mike Knox promo.... Remember when he was â€œdatingâ€ Kelly Kelly? That was funny. I'm surprised Dirt doesn't think it would be cool if he and Snitkzy made a Tag Team.
Hardy cuts a promo about how he's going to Summerslam to face Henry. DUH!
Matt Hardy v. Fit Finley v. The Miz. v. John Morrison for the #1 contendership for the ECW title
there was a decent exchange between Hardy and Finley but for the most part nothing really has happened. They have just sided up, Miz with Hardy and Finley with Morrison and they have just gone back and forth taking turns on each other. Hardy and Miz finally hit with a double clothesline and Finley tries to cover them both but just gets 2 counts. We get hornswaggle for 2 seconds and then he is gone again as Miz and Morrison double team Finley on the outside of the ring. Hardy appears to be in the corner â€œhurtâ€. They get in the ring and double team Hardy but then whatever love they had earlier is gone when they cant agree on who gets to pin the other. Morrison accidentally kicks the Miz and Hardy gets the side effect on Morrison but itâ€™s broken up by Finley. Finley cleared house a little bit and hits a bunch of big moves but canâ€™t get anything done. Finley almost killed Hardy with a giant ass to the chest. Bodies are flying everywhere.... its kayos..... Twist of Fate on the Miz and someone owes me $10. Winner: Matt Hardy.